um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize