True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
