I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
