direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize