Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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