so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
