He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
