hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
