Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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