im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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