Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
