Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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