it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
