Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
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