Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
