I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize