is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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