Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
