Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
