Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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