Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
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She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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