I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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