then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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