I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
