He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He better not be in your backpack
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
