I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
