i need an iv and a liver transplant
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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