It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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