3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I cockslap morals
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
