Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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