dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize