Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
