There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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