did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
