this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
