Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
