...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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