Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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