apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
