Im at strip club and am horny
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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