highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There r osticjed everywhere
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
