i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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