And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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