I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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