my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
