We're like a lot better than the average bears
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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