I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I am puke
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
