I wish I only lived at night.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
