he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
try to milk me bitch
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
