I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
