I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
