I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
