So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
