It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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