mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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