i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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