i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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