I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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