from now on my penis is your penis
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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