Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
