I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
