The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
