when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
