omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
