I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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