I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
