honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
