You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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