he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
