If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
