The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
