I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
