k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
