Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
